What To Say if A Man Tries to Masturbate In Front of you

Disclaimer #1 - I was super sick in this video but I did it anyway bc #goals

Disclaimer #2 - I totally fucking resent having to consider my appearance every time I post. Like I'm mad jealous of male youtubers who just hop on there w a dash of chapstick and a grin. Like fuck you guys. But it's my fault really. I'm a #libra - so even if I wasn't a woman and socially scorned for my physical appearance, I'd probably still be really obsessed with it. As such, making just these first two videos took a lot of soul searching, vulnerability and risk taking bc

Disclaimer #3 - I don't know shit about lighting, sound, film or editing. So for those of you who say you like it raw - here ya are. And to the haters who love to criticize whilst they sit on their arse doing nothing - here ya go. PS - I eat your hate.

It's that time I guess - Join me on Youtube #Polyamory

That day has finally arrived, the day I have resisted for yeeears! I'm officially live on facebook AND Youtube now. The reasons for this are many, but here today I wanted to share my first post. It's a response to some of the comments made during a live stream from one of my favorite youtubers - The Peace Dealer. I reached out to him and told him I wanted to clarify so things after hearing the statements and he said sure.

My intent to reach out on social media is real. My purpose and vision are clear and the time is now. To get started I need at least 1,000 followers on Youtube. I already have almost 2,000 on Facebook www.facebook.com/vontana (you guys and gals are amazing, thank you). So please subscribe to my Youtube channel at www.youtube.com/ministryofkink. I really, really appreciate it. 

Enjoy the video. 

"For Me" this may be the end, of the angry #poetry

Them were the glorious

Days

We had our way

Cowl trippin

Thru the thin and the frame

You thought you knew my name

But you were short trippin on

Some high dollar fame

 

I tire

I retire

From cooking for me

Doing right by me

Bustin this hitachi at midnight

Fuxking me

Weren't you suppose to be there for me?

What kinda gold gilded bullshit could this be

All I ever wanted was you and me

I'm tires

 

I tired of cooking

For me

You were suppose to

Appreciate me

I'm tired of sleeping w me

Weren't you suppose to be the one to ho ho hold me?

This life is lonely living with just me

But it's still better than sacrificing me

So you can act like a homey

I'm tires of doing it all

Weren't you suppose to be there

For me?

 

For me

For me

I do all this shit for me

Bc it's better than being lonely

No way I'm gonna live

With you disrespecting me

Come on baby

I need someone to touch touch touch me

Fuck you

You didn't do a single cent of this

For for me

For me

I not alone but bay

You abandoned me

For me

For me

I do it all for me

I need some relief

Fuck you

You never cared about me

You left me lonely

Rather get High

Rather lie

I rather defy

Than comply

Bc your life is broken eloquently

Shattered glass all around me

Bleeding red

Broke as hell

Getting kicked out of

Even a hotel

Some prince of Siam you is

Can't even keep a roof over your misses

For me

For me

You do it all for me

For me

For me

I'm tires of doing it all

For me

Fuck you

I never knew you

You never knew me

For me

Oops I blogged - #dreams #ume the #unborn speak from the other side

Ok. I lied. Maybe I’m still gonna blog. A little. But only about my dreams. And not my hopes and wishes kinda dreams, but my dreams, dreams. The kinda shit that happens because my scorpio is rising and my IC is on Pisces, and if you know what that means? You know what that means. And if you don’t? Check out youtube.

Dear North Carolina, remember that snow storm in January? That morphed into an ice storm? That turned into three days that no one could go to work because literally all the roads from Durham to Charlottesville we’re a total ice skating rink? Yea, that.

That’s when the slavee decided to show up, relapsed, less than two week out of yet another month’s stint in rehab, in a rental car - already wrecked. FML.

When I heard his voice, it went like this: me waking from a dead sleep “Who is it?” Him: It’s your husband. Me: silently, oh shit.

I had nothing else at that moment, so I decided I wanted a baby, like some females do. Fortunately for me, the Universe is wiser than I, and yet...the Plum tree bloomed. The Japanese plum tree (Ume) that I pasted everyday, covered in snow, now bleeding purfume and dropping heavy pink blooms. My breast exploded. Just three weeks in I found it nearly impossible to hide my secret from friends. I tested positive. I didn’t tell the slave, who was BACK in another rehab.

umetree.jpg

Then it just happened. I bled. Like females sometimes do.

Yet for three weeks, everyday, I had waltzed over the snow past the tree in our yard, forming its fruits. In Winter. What was it? I asked my roommate, “A japanese plum tree,” he replied. I had never seen a tree that bloomed in winter.

I meditated daily on those branches, on that sweet perfume, on those glorious, defiant fruits until the swelling of my breasts reach their zenith and she was gone.

How do I know it was she? Because she has come to me - everytime. Because her name had been on my lips since the moment I fell in love with her father. Her name was Hazel. And because she came to a friend, who sees all things. And this friend said to me,

“Who is Sue? Who is she?” Sue. Sue? Oh …. Sue.

My friend had seen: Sue cradling my baby, in the nether realm, grasping my unborn daughter’s hand in the other world...Sue was another mother to me - before the tyranny of breast cancer and a lifetime of emotional labor caused her to succumb to an early, undeserved death. The last walk we ever took together, Sue and I, in Montana’s winter land, was at night in the crisp dark air beneath the twinkling stars, between edges of deep snow, holding on to one another. We giggles, we slipped. We grasped one another so we wouldn’t fall. I would never see her again.

So Sue was gone, long ago, left behind in winter’s unwise undoing. And now all these years later I was sniffing the sweet scent of winter’s perfume, but there would be no baby. There would only be fruit that would fall and rot. Hazel was with Sue now, holding hands on the other side.

The seer said, “Hazel wants me to tell you that you did everything right. It wasn’t you. You did everything you were suppose to do. But Hazel won’t come here until the time is right. She wants only the best, for herself, for you, for him. She’s not coming until her father gets his shit together.”

After a month of swelling and sniffing the sweet Japanese plum perfume I wept like the dead when I bled. I hallowed, and few - few understood. They sanctioned me better without the unborn legacy of a man gone mad. They might be right, but so was that soul, that stood so resolute and declared, as she held Sue’s hand, “Mom it wasn’t you - you did everything right. I deserve the most. I won’t arrive until he’s ready too.”

And then I got on a plane and went to Japan. And then he relapsed. And then my heartstrings broke. And then there was no more us. And then...

She haunted me.

The first time I saw her, dreaming on my bed in foreign ground, she was sweet and seductive, as her father lie drowning in a tub of familiar excess, all she said was, “All he wants to do is swim with you.” But water is emotion, and all the buckets in the world couldn’t keep this cohort from drowning so I repeated, “No.” And turned a corner, letting go of her hand. The flashing lights, the opulence, the chaos, “It’s just not my style.” And I left here there, with him.

Hazel, sweet baby Hazel, I didn’t know it was you. I never imagined you would want to hold onto what me, you Mama, couldn’t, didn’t want too. Him. Us. This gateway into this world that you had chosen.

Then she came again. It was deep at night. So long since I’d been touched I felt I might die of fright, freeze right up the next time I came in contact...and there it was. Deep in sleep, late at night, under the veil of Pisces and Scorpio I was TOUCHED. I’ve never lived this long without intimacy, joke as I may about being so tight I’m a born again V-jay, I don’t want dick. All I want is to hold someone tight. To be touched. Contact. Connection.

So there, in the middle of my dreaming night, just last week, as real as this laptop on which I type, an unseen force had emerged from beneath my blankets and I was being touched. And that is all that mattered. Touched. First it was him. Then it was her. Two hands, one on each hip, reaching up from under the covers, grasping, touching, pleasing. Unseen, but felt.

And then they were gone.

And finally two nights ago this karmic story of soul connections came to an end. I gave birth. I felt her crawl, emerge out of my flowering cave, as real as the first time I gave birth and lost. And I begged the nurse, “She’s alive! Where is she? Show her to me!” But she had fled. I had abandoned our dream, because I quit a boy who couldn’t be a man, couldn’t be a father even after she begged me twice not to. I choose myself instead. And that meant she had no more business with me, because our contract? I could not, would not fulfill. Instead of becoming her abandoned, abused mother I chose to free - to free her and me. From a life of uncertainty.

I don’t know where she will be. I don’t know if she ever again will love me, the way she loved me when my breast rose and the petals fell, not so long ago, just last winter, in the snow and the storms, beneath the Japanese plum tree. Her sweet perfume will ever be, my favorite reminder of why I am her and she is she. I’m in Japan. That promise was true. The promise of you? Who knew. Maybe now. Maybe never.

But nonetheless, I love you. I miss her, Hazel. With the emerald eyes and the yellow skin, the copper hair and the unshakable grin. Maybe some lifetime, I’ll get the chance to be your mother, again.





 

New Moon in Leo - Eclipses - #13Mantras and #kinkylove #recovery

Ok I wasted enough time looking for that one GD perfect picture that would complete this blog to my heart's content - but later...for that...I guess. This one will do tho - Durga (Maa) is a bad ass. She slays demons and upholds moral order. And rides a lion. I dig. Sometimes we are meant to not find the thing we want so we can find the thing we need. 

So here we are again, dear hearts. It's the midst of Leo season. Well, actually the very beginning - zero degrees to be exact, and for those of you who do not know that's basically the most important/powerful point that can be occupied by a season, planet, moment, etc.

Why is this significant? Well because after about 15 years of sitting at this laptop creating fabulous content but with little intent I have figured out there are really only two times I write/post - when I'm experiencing PMS or a Leo transit. Like this one, like this Leo transit, that also happens to include two complete eclipses. Praise Be. Praise Be I'm on this side of the world aka Japan and not that one aka America where the solar eclipse will literally pass over the entire country. No, I ain't trying to be that pagan about it - also another reason I ran to Japan. 

So here's what's happening - slavee has been sober nearly 9 months. The joy in my heart right now, the gratitude, the trepidation, the faith? Cannot be accurately expressed. My baby was barely 21 when I met him. In a few months he will be 30. I have watched him grow from a boy into a man, from a victim to a champion, from an addict to a human, from a friend, to my enemy and finally my husband. And I have watched myself as a Mistress, a friend and a wife do one very important thing - I have released all the codependent tendencies in my life. I am free of the need, once and for all, to please. Oh what, you thought all doms were selfish cunts? I wish, I wish that were true. It's more true that that paradigm is in reality turned on its head and good dominants are some of the most emotionally and mentally exploited folks in the scene. Yea, that. I could have continued my life, unexamined, and functioned well enough. But the trials and tribulations my husbands trauma and subsequent disease put us through gave me the painful opportunity to truly, deeply and madly look at my own self. And only after looking into the heart of the darkness was I able to find total and complete freedom from my own painful, addiction riddled past (my dad died from the disease). In short, my husband saved me from mediocrity. And to a dominant Goddess who values beauty, raw honesty and efficiency there is no greater gift.  

So continuing onward - my husband, my slave, my soulmate is alive. This was something I was not always able to take for granted. There were moments I witnessed death rapping at his door. There were moments I looked at him and said, "The disease is winning, if you want to live you must fight for your life." But he is alive, and he is sober and soon he will join me here, on the other side of the world. And besides riding his perfect cock until it is sore my first agenda is rope, rope and more rope. It has always been slavee's fantasy to experience predicament bondage. I thought I could bottom for rope but alas I was wrong, wrong, wrong. I attended a phenomenon rope dojo last month in Tokyo. I spent exactly 20 minutes in the ropes and a week later work in the middle of the night - every nerve on fire where every fiber of the rope had touched my skin. Thus I am cursed and slavee is blessed that I must relinquish any desire I might have to be inside the ropes (I kinda already knew this) and dedicate my focus to developing the skills of a badass fulltime rope top. 

So yes - Leo season. Last summer I wrote the first draft of my manuscript. That too was during a Leo season. I was alone, at the farm in West Virginia and I spent hours everyday doing it. I'm alone again, in Japan, alone for the first time in Japan. My kinky sidekick @kiarrith took a plane home last week after 5 fucking fabulous weeks together that we shared in my new life here. Now...it's just moi. A few weeks ago, the manuscript started to creep back up on me. It was like a glowing energy growing slowly on the horizon. I know it's time to dive back into her again but GD I hate looking at my own work. It. Makes. Me. Feel. So. Uncomfortable. I'm also experimenting with total sobriety and a new workout routine so all of this adulting is just...adulting. I came to Japan to get serious, and boy have I. This former wake and bake babe hasn't hit the stuff in mooonths and I've never been really good at drinking or interested in much else (too scary, something called acid? are you fucking kidding me? no thanks). But I digress...

So here I am in Japan, being all serious, loving this new life even if I must love it differently than my former one. A time, a season, for everything. I like this new season. The thrills are different. So are the people. The subtly and nuance is enough to make one paranoid - or hyper successful. Today I look again at this manuscript - for the first time since I finished it last summer. I don't have children. My message to the world is my child. It's almost time to give birth and set her loose upon the world. Because what you don't need is another tell all, salacious memoir that exploits stigma for a paycheck. But what I can give you, my people, is the lessons I've learned from it aaalll. From being queer, from being a sex worker, from being a Goddess, from being a drag queen, from being a Dominatrix, from being a preacher's daughter, from marrying my slave, from from from from...

Wisdom. That is what makes the world worth going round. Well that and love. Money and sex may MAKE the world go round sure, but hey, that's not a bad thing either.

Hugs. Kisses. Miss Vee

Rapid Restraints - My first workshop in Japan! #Bondage #Tokyo #Sexed

Just wrapped up a 6 way - on skype, you dirty pervs - with the Kanto Area Kink counsel. They are kind enough to let me join them at the sampler workshop they are organizing this weekend in Tokyo. My portion of the event will include sensual bondage (scarves), verbal bondage (D/s) bondage with plastic/saran wrap and quick ties (rope bondage). I hope you can join us. Follow the links below to RSVP on Fetlife.

Kanto Area Kink Presents: Sampler Workshop

“ Come give it a try!”

I'm Going!maybe going | not going

Date & Time:in 2 daysSaturday, June 10, 2017 · 2:00 PM – 4:30 PM  

Location:

Our Space

#101 2-chome 1-1 Hatagaya, Shibuya-ku 151-0072   @ map

Cost:500 yen at the door.

Dress code:Casual to the door. You may change inside, but keep keep it street legal.

Description:

Have you ever felt like you've been interested in something for a while, and you just needed to get a chance to try it? Here's your chance! We've been talking about it for a while, and Kanto Area Kink is ready to set off our very first Sampler event! Come join us at Our Space for a few hours of education and sampling, provided by a panel of local experts in a safe environment. Here is a list of activities that we came up with, and have been requested by the Community:

-Shibari
-Impact play
-Electrostim play
-Negotiation Skills
-D/s Protocol
-Breath Play
-Burlesque Seduction/Lap Dance
-Wax Play
-Rapid Restraint (quick ties with simple bonds/verbal cues)
-Tantric Kink/Energy Practices
With the possibility of adding more as we get closer!

What can you expect? All these events are available for people to try from either a bottoming or Topping perspective...our presenters are prepared and happy to instruct as well as provide examples! Depending on how many people show, and the popularity/intricacies of each event, each individual session will probably last ten to thirty minutes, depending on the Presenter...this is purely so we can make sure everyone gets a chance to have a go at all the activities they are interested in, and depending on the flow of the evening, it could be possible for more!

As a side note, this event does fall on the same date as the illustrious Torture Garden, but as this is an afternoon event, there is plenty of time for both!

Rules:
-No photography.
-No Alcohol
-Presenters have the right to deny a scene for any reason, primarily safety.
-No play outside stations.
-Presenters and other event managers are the final authority on all matters of safety.

Here is a handy map to the location! http://www.maru-z.com/ourspace/Access.html

If anyone has any questions, or wishes to volunteer as a Presenter for an activity they feel qualified in, please post in the related post in the KAK forums: https://fetlife.com/groups/101379/group_posts/10924…

Writing on Writing and Why I Love Zora Neale Hurston

Chapter 1

Paragraph 1


The sky was yellow. The wind was strong. The sand storm tore at the face masks of the passengers. They clamored across the tarmac, climbed the staircase and disappeared. Inside she sat down, two stones in her pockets. In the right pocket she carried a smooth grey pebble with the word, “Hope,” carved into the surface. In her left pocket was a white crystal, plucked from the mountains near her home. Around her neck hung a piece of amber surrounded by silver in the shape of a tree, bent by the wind. Wound about one of her hands was a piece of hair, dark kinky hair she once twisted into a loch, many years before. Finally she reached into her purse and pulled out a cartoonish figurine in the shape of a moose, a tiny red scarf wrapped around it’s neck, and placed it on the empty seat next to her. Then the pre-boarding announcements began, first in Chinese, then in English. Next stop Tokyo.

 

I have no right to invoke her name. She is Zora Neale Hurston and her book changed my life.

It wasn’t the story per se, although that was magnificent, but the structure that struck me. A woman not much older than I am now returned to the front porch, wrapped herself in a shawl like the nets of the sea, and told her story.

My undergraduate degree is in English. I studied a lot of literature. I loved it. My professor described this style of narrative like bookends, a framework that completes a story by giving it the boundaries, the shape it needs. I never forgot that. I knew someday my story would fit into that frame.

So here I am, in Japan, and I’ve finally found my second bookend. I’m about to sit down on the porch and tell you a story. My story, taken with liberties. Taken from real life but produced in a way that is more true to the form than the art. As an english major, I’m a story slut. I tell you this now, that when it comes to this project I will be more concerned with the quality of the story telling than the details. My goal is to convey the truths of my journey, not the details of my life. It also makes me feel safe to cling to story rather than life. And I’m also sick to death of all the tell-all tales out there from fly by night ‘pros’ that take advantage of the misunderstanding of my craft in exchange for a dollar and that encourage the mainstream to continue to stigmatize my craft.

I’m also more than a Dominatrix. And frankly, as I get more in touch with my heart and the reality of my vulnerability (and courage) I find that much more interesting. It will all be there though, don’t worry, because it is all part of my journey and I loved every second I spend in a dungeon. Every second. So I will share, I want to share. I want to share aaalll of me with you. I hope that the revelation of my own complex, multidimensional self and sexuality will help you appreciate more your own amazing universe.

And they say the first page/paragraph of a book determines whether someone will want to read the book.

So here goes, two weeks after the journey completed and I escaped to Japan, this is what I have...it’s not much. But it’s a start.

 

American #Dominatrix in #Tokyo

Something’s got to give…

Bub (my brother): Sis remember when 9/11 happened and you were in DC and Mom and Mike threatened to drive out from Montana and pack you up and move you back home?

Me: Yea…

Bub: Well now it’s about to be World War 3 and you’re headed right back into the middle of it again. What’s up with that?

Me: Well, Bro...war is part of life. And next time it happens it’s going to happen everywhere. So if it’s going to happen, this time when it happens, I want to be in a country with no guns, no opiod epidemic and no race wars.

Bub: …

#Japan

Remember that story line in Friends, where Ross gets someone else pregnant. Rachel is really upset when she finds out because she told Ross they were just on a break. But Ross thinks they were broken up?

Yeah, well in that scenario I’m Rachel and my country and my family are Ross. They think I’ve left them for good. But really we’re just on a break. Yep I ex-pat’ed the fuck outta my life and country and loves. Now as long as the USA doesn’t knock somebody else up while I’m in Japan we should be okay.

Ten years ago was my last sabbatical. In the past ten years since that trip back home to Montana I have taken only one trip that wasn’t to see clients. That was last December when my Mom took me to Mexico. A country with a culture that is warm, heart-felt and full of humor. That trip definitely sparked something in me. Or more accurately it reignited something inside of me - a desire to experience life beyond the American borders.

My reasons for coming to Japan are many, not just one. And those reasons are layered. They run into one another. Was it my traumatic marriage to my slave who is still in treatment for addiction? Sure that was part of it. He’s doing better but I still needed to be somewhere he couldn’t get to me without my consent because it seems every time he’s done that in the past decade he manages to melt down my world in a matter of days and I have to start all over again.

Is it the ignorant and racist attitudes of my dearest loved family members that have come to light since the recent election? Yea, that’s definitely part of it too.

Is it my need for adventure? My desire to travel? My desperate want for a respite from the scene? The pro life? The impact of the drug epidemic on my personal life? The lack of a living wage? The fucking hateful rhetoric of my country at the moment? The free bed in a warm home waiting for me in Tokyo? Yes, yes and yes.

So that’s why I left. But why did I choose to go to Japan? Why not South America, or Europe where as one friend said, “They know how to enjoy life.” Because I’ve spent the past decade plus “enjoying” life. I’ve lived. I've liiived. If I wanted it, I’ve had it. If I want to do it, I’ve done it. My life has not been short on experience and my memory is full of moments that I will cherish forever. But there’s more to life than that…

And that is where my self identity and this Japanese culture intersect:

I value ritual. They have it in spades in this country.

I value manners. Respect is the name of the game in this country.

I love discipline. Yep they have that too.

I value kink. PLENTY of that here.

I value peace. As a survivor of multiple sexual assaults (all prior to becoming a pro and part of my vanilla life not my kink life) I can walk down the street here at 2 am more than a little tipsy and not have to look over my shoulder constantly or clutch my keys in fear or worry about what is hiding behind every shadow. You have no idea how valuable that is to a survivor of sexual assault and domestic abuse. Basically by making the choice to move myself halfway around the world I eliminated the vast majority of my triggers and for that reason I now spend my days in peace. Priceless.

I am healing. I am the adult child of an alcoholic who is finally getting on top of her issues. It's been a long, hard fought, barely begun to be won battle. But I am still standing. And at this point I feel I deserve some GD rewards for my efforts thus far. So I decided to put myself first and to go out and get them. I gave myself a pass. That pass came in the form of a plane ticket. A very expensive plane ticket. To a very different place, very far away from home. So. Be. It.

I am here, in Japan, to heal. I am also here to take some bad ass rope bondage classes and get my kink on on the international level. Torture Garden of London fame is hosting a fetish ball in Tokyo in a few weeks. OMG I cannot wait. 

This country I’ve chosen isn’t perfect. No place is, but for now Japan offers me the ritual, discipline, spiritual sanctity, financial security, physical safety and professional opportunities that I can’t find in my own country, especially at this moment in history. Yes, I feel safer here, practically within spitting distance of North Korea and it's nukes, than I did walking down the street at night in my own country. As a solitary soul and an independent woman I spent many nights in fear, because I was alone - as Goddess intended - but I was alone in a country full of dangers for a woman like myself. 

I am an introvert. I now gleefully spend my days walking silently through the tiny streets of my Tokyo neighborhood. I use google translate to communicate. I bow a lot. I make eye contact with people, something I never did back home. I smile at strangers. It feels so good. 

The food is fresh as fuck. The people are gentle. The fashion is on point. The aesthetic is dynamite. And they love a tall blonde gaijin. There’s even Starbucks so I can still get my fix.

I just had to do it. I couldn’t wait one more moment. The more loved ones I lost to over dose the more I began to realize just how short life really is. And how precious. And how fragile. I’ve spent my entire life in service to other’s needs. It's called being a codependent. It was time to put myself first. I bet that’s a secret you didn’t know about being the best - the best dominants out there are in it for someone else. Almost always.

For me it was beyond being merely a ‘service top.’ I was and still am and always will be in service to my destiny, to the fates. Most days I wouldn’t choose this life. I hate being marginalized, misrepresented, judged and commodified by family, friends, lovers and the media whether it's because I'm kinky, a woman, a blonde, a queer or a sex worker. Most days I just crave a normal existence, even though I know the concept of normal is an illusion, really. But what I did need and could get that Japan gives me is a sense of peace, an advanced aesthetic and a sophisticated society.

America - you’re mean. There - I said it. And that’s coming from a Dominatrix. It’s my job to be mean and I still just can’t with you anymore. Not right now. So I quit. We're on a break. It's a symptom of a larger problem sure, most of which is my responsibility but nonetheless I choose to quit making myself available to any place or person who can’t or won’t appreciate me for me. After all, I’m just a girl. A girl with a whip. A woman who deserves love. A human. Being.

I don’t know when (or if) I’ll be back. My relationship with my new country is very new and like most new relationships I’m probably heady on all kinds of new relationship energy (NRE, go google it if you don’t know what that means). Once the dust settles, I’ll decide what my next move is. One step at a time, right? But one thing is for sure - I’m done with countries, men, communities and clients that may tolerate hate, anger and poor taste. Life is too short for anything less than beauty and love.

May you find what you are looking for. I know I have. Thank you Japan and thank you America. Maybe someday we will meet again.

Good bye for now. Love, Me

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Part 2 - toy sale! #bondage #boots #crossdressing retro lingerie

This is it! The final lot! Mistress is definitely interested in offers for the whole thing, part 1 and 2. I am not pricing these items because I prefer you to tell me what you can afford. I want these fabulous pieces to go to homes that will value and enjoy them.  So dive right in - make an offer! Email dominavontana@gmail.com 

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Homme Mystere is lingerie designed for the male body. It is flattering, sexy and feminine. One of a kind and wonderful to wear! I adore this brand.  

 

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Spareparts Hardwear Sasha - ruching, garters, size medium. The best harness I've ever owned but the slave/husband hates anal so it needs to go to a good home where it will be appreciated. Machine washable, super secure fit/ride - no gapping during your hottest moments, just up close and personal play. Fits most (all but the most huge) dildos. I adore this thing but not using it makes me sad so it's got to go!

 

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Gorgeous satin crystal studded steel boned corset with garters. This thing is the real deal. Size small. 

 

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Luxury brand Lelo silk blindfold definitely the most expensive blindfold I've ever bought lol retails for $70 I know redic - but oh so lovely and secure - elastic band at the back keeps it in place then tie the two ends for sexy flair  

 

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Satin French style balconnete bra - think sexy nip slip size 34C 

 

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You know what this is - haha size medium #schoolgirlskirt

 

Hand dyed size 34C full figure retro lingerie  

Hand dyed size 34C full figure retro lingerie  

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Rago size medium one full skirt one half skirt 6 garters each full figure retro lingerie  

 

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Full slip retro full figure lingerie 4 garters size small  

 

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Scarves for #bondage my absolute fav style of bondage #sensualdomination

 

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Boots!!! thigh high 3 pairs all size 8.5 one plain one with metal laces in the front the other with metal laces in the back so fun to wear!

 

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 #leather #bondage #hood this fucker is no joke total #blackout multiple straps #sensorydeprivation 

 

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bedazzle yer bewbies both size 36B 

 

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This looks sooo good on, always so many compliments 3/4 sleeve size medium  

 

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Anjou anal plug medium stainless steel boil ten minutes to sanitize put in the freezer for thermal play fabulous toy high quality brand love this piece but got a new one

 

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Random bondage gear (tape) and some knives and nipple clamps and oh - some zip ties too 

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Violet wand (you knew that right?) works perfectly, missing one attachement - the other 3 are there (as you can see)  

Toy sale! #bondage gear, impact play

Doing a little spring cleaning. See pics below. Email your offer to dominavontana@gmail.com.  

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Delightful Dragon tongue/tail, the perfect snap, light weight handle, leaves marks that last for daaays ~evil snicker

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Three tongue leather whip. Beautiful and versatile. Like new  

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Fabulous heavy braided handle. Two different patterns. I think the design of this toy is a little experimental. Honestly I enjoy using the long thuddy handle for impact more than the short tails for whipping although they are great for light sensation work with sensitive sensual or novice bottoms  

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Elk hide, 20 strands. Used to be my favorite until some ass hat at a party stole the matching flogger. I only flog in pairs lol so this has to go. nice light to medium play but still capable of leaving marks and good for female or small stature players who like to flog all night without getting fatigued by heavy toys.

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HEAVY flogger. 20 braided strands w tassels. I believe it's deerskin.  

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Leather by Danny. Love that guy. Lifetime warranty on all his stuff.  

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New. Stiff. Needs breaking in. The shape allows for scratching and tickling as well as slapping.  

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Silicone heart shaped crop "not for beginners" was slavee's comments after receiving a few whacks. It's small but capable of delivering intense sensation that is both thuddy and stingy - the hallmark of the recent silicone slippers hitting the market.

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Medium lined leather wrist cuffs. Sturdy and comfortable. Great for play or wearing all day.  

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Unlined leather ankle cuffs - medium. Gonna miss these. First pair I ever bought. Basic but hold a great deal of sentimental value. Enjoy!  

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Your basic leather dog leash. 8 ft. Snap is heavy solid brass.  

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Acrylic paddle with holes. I hate these things they're so damn loud lol  

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This.Is.SO SEXY. but the matching garter broke so I'm selling it. Fantastic for a female slave or dominant or even a petite male submissive.  

meditation report #mentalmasturbation

 

Meditation progress report. Made it twenty minutes, twice today. That makes four times in three days.

Last Friday night I lit a fire and got some sage advice re #yoga. Every year I save my Christmas boughs, because them bitches go up like a flame thrower. Light a match, stand back, feel the rush of heat as it splashes your cold cheek.

Because we were near a new moon I knew the stars would be out. It made for good watching. My friend, we’ll call him John, is a meditation teacher, and a real hard ass. When I started whining to him fireside over glasses of wine how everyone I knew meditated except me and I didn’t know why he laughed. The kind of knowing laugh that comes before a ball busting.

"If you knew what meditation was,” he said, “you’d be doing it all the time.”

I wish I would have recorded what he said next but basically he alikened it to mastrubation for the mind and said it was a great yet simple thing, simple it what it accomplishes, effective over time, not an antidote, but a lifestyle. Something that has immediate and long range return, if you’re interested in consistent dividends/practice and realistic yet intentional results.

He called it his safe place, and this man is 6’4” and a former marine. What he meant by safe was “untouchable.” He’s out of reach when he’s down there he said. That sounds terrible to me, like drowning. But knowing him, he’s probably right.

I’ve tried sitting alone, sitting in silence and listening to relaxing music. My genre is anything with “spa” in the search terms.

I have no idea which I prefer. I remember to breath. Most of the time. If I make it the full 20mins I morph into my own personal hero.

All I had this morning to focus on was, “let the love win,” and “stay in your heart place.”

By this evening we had graduated to “Let the love win,” and “Gratitude.”

Just that. Back and forth between those two, me sighing and trying to focus while the dog whimpered because I was ignoring her and I tried to ignore myself ignoring myself. I’m an introvert by nature anyway so I’m not sure maybe that is part of my struggle. I spend so much time alone already. By design.

I did note this- after a few times the meditation created a space inside I was able to return to easier the next time around. It seemed productive. I don’t mind props. Props need a stage I suppose. I am building my stage. It’s like second life for the soul. So far my stage is a little dusty and kinda bare. There’s lots of work to do.   

Lots of opportunity to change what I see.

  

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One Charlie ... 

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two Charlie ...