Summer Tour Dates - East/West Coast

Virginia Beach June 12-15

San Francisco July 17-20

New York City August 2-4

Washington DC - 24 hours notice required

Deposits required for all bookings. Don't even message me if you’re unable to do this. Industry fucking standard. Any Domme not charging a deposit? Well, you get what you pay for…

I was born this way. I’m an organic Goddess in all areas of my life and when I get to the dungeon I am an uncompromising Alpha Female teeming with psychic intuition and dripping with seduction. I am as nurturing as I am firm. A session with me is one you will never forget. It will become a memory you return to time and again and it will make you wish you could serve me full time for the rest of your life. Don’t believe me? I dare you to try and escape my inescapable grip. My power, intelligence, beauty, sophistication, and grace will leave you speechless, except maybe for a humble “thank you.”

I value sincere submissives and welcome all ages, races, orientations. The one thing I don’t negotiate is my rates. I do not offer one hour sessions. 90 minutes minimum. You will get what you deserve from our time together and I will get what I want from you. I am a lifestyle as well as a professional Dominatrix.

If you value our time together you will book in advance. Start by sending a polite introduction email to Before you send it however, make sure to follow me on all my social media - instagram, twitter and Facebook. Just goggle Domina Vontana. I’m everywhere. Mistress will be able to tell whether you have done your homework. Familiarizing yourself with my current projects and adventures is a good way to impress the Mistress and make sure that she will prioritize your booking.

I am open to most scenes. My only hard limits are the usual ones. I adore negotiation and like to watch you squirm. My screening process is fun and personal. I do all my own administration so always respect my time. You have know idea the absolute crap that burns my eyeballs daily. My inbox is a landing pad for the toxic and lonely erotically obsessed. And the occasional sincere submissive who wins my heart with his loyal devotion and innate ability to serve and surrender. Is that you? I hope so. Send me a message.

How to Grieve like a Dominant

“Its was one of those events which at a crucial stage in one's development arrive to challenge and stretch one to the limit of one's ability and beyond, so that thereafter one has a new standard by which to judge oneself.” 
― Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

How to grieve like a top —

  1. Act like nothing’s wrong.

  2. Take care of everyone else first.

  3. Don’t let anyone know, including yourself, that you have needs.

  4. Instead of asking for what you need, start micro-managing your submissive.

  5. Give yourself permission and then cry with intention.

  6. Accept a hug from your submissive. If they’re not sure what to do because they’ve never seen you cry before tell them to give you a hug. Role model vulnerability and courage from a space of authority.  

  7. Lastly, role model strength. Insist that those under your care maintain a regular daily schedule and begin establishing a “new normal” to integrate into the remainder of yesterday.

Traditional healthy dominants will lean hard into their leader and protector role during difficult times. This is of course a duty bound response and it comes from a place of honor. It has its limits though because dominants are what? People too. The limit is different for each dominant. Hopefully life doesn’t push us to the edge of grief too often, so we might not have many opportunities to learn how we grieve. What dominants and submissives can practice daily is self care and awareness. Self care creates and maintains a center of power and awareness provides tools to stay grounded. D/s (dominance and submission) is based on a hierarchy (power) that is consensual (exchange). Power exchange is the dynamic that facilitates D/s so both (or more) players need to come from a place of power so they have something to exchange in the first place.

As a dominant I am very aware that my mood sets the tone for my submissives. Like children and pets, they are sensitive to the slightest shift in energy. If they are a good follow they can navigate a certain amount of this on their own, and sometimes they need too. The dominant prioritizes the emotional needs of the submissive because the bottom line is the bottom has all the power. Baring some sort of emergency, if my submissive does not want to do something it is not happening. This includes times when the submissive may fluctuate in their mood. What makes submissives so fun to play with is they are sensitive and responsive, capable of receiving high levels of stimulation or information or both.

Any instrument that is sensitive will require a higher level of maintenance. As a dominant I do my best to calculate the exact intersection between the needs of my life and the capacity of my submissive. But as life does, sometimes it gets away from us and I will wind up with a submissive on my hands who essentially safewords on life and anything else I may have planned for us is over til after their aftercare is complete. This potential for the submissive to drop during difficult times where planning is challenging is precisely why I administer an even deeper level of TLC when life fluctuates. I neeeeed them to stay with me because 1 I need them 2 I need us to stay on top of the beat when life kicks up the pace. A standard protocol I practice for serious moments is “obey now, ask why later”. Spoiler alert: they don’t usually wind up asking. The answer is in the living.

Difficult times often mean even more decision making for the dominant. Part of being a Goddess is being led by an authority higher than myself. I’m in a constant state of deep listening when I’m making decisions to guide my leather family. These downloads often come rapidly and with only a moment before they must be executed. If my submissives want me to see them on the other side, I have to get them there first and that means we have to move. Manifesting is powerful work and magic comes quickly. As a dominant my submissives not only serve me, their presence comforts me. There’s no one i want to be nearer to than my submissive when dealing with an outside situation that requires all of me. It can be a great sacrifice on the part of the submissive to understand this and place themselves at a loss temporarily and it is also a great act of service that is invaluable to their dominant and they should know this. The world can feel scary sometimes, even for a dominant. And next to my submissive is the safest place on this earth for me as a Goddess, a woman and a sex worker. Those who serve me love and respect me and accept my authority without question and this allows me to proceed with the work.

Domina Vontana is a world traveled professional Dominatrix and sex educator with two decades of experience at the highest levels of both academia and kink. Every Tuesday you can hear her live on @MNDFCKPodcast broadcasting live in-studio from the Line Hotel in Adams Morgan, Washington DC. Her academic background includes health sciences, communications, women’s health, LGBT health and healthcare policy. Her professional experience includes direct patient services, adult retail and education. Domina Vontana was the first professional sex worker in the DC area to speak  with the media about her work as a BDSM professional. Her unique style sets audiences at ease and facilitates informative discussions around topics that are usually only discussed in private, if at all. These topics include sexuality, gender, women’s sexual health, BDSM, male submission, trauma, addiction, recovery, self advocacy, harm reduction and self care. Voted best laugh in high school, Vontana has been entertaining and educating audiences her entire life through the mediums of music, poetry, workshops and performance art. Her email is


Early Spring 2019 Tour Dates - New York, Washington, Chicago, San Francisco, Seattle, Sacramento

Travel Dates for Early Spring 2019.

My rates start at $350. Payments is required in full upfront once you book. A deposit is required to speak with me. Any experienced quality client or novice submissive with potential will understand why this is necessary. Not just because of the current policy climate but because I said so.

My travel dates are as follows. The best way to reach me is email at

March 9, Saturday - New York City

March 20-22, Wednesday to Friday - Seattle

April 10-12, Wednesday to Friday - Chicago

April 24-25, Wednesday to Friday - Sacramento

April 25-27, Saturday and Sunday - San Francisco

Every Tuesday I have a podcast that records live in Washington DC at the Line Hotel in Adams Morgan. If you contact me in advance I’m happy to meet after we record for a short drink at the hotel bar as a type of introduction. No deposit is required and you must be on time.

I am not available on short notice. Do your research before you contact me - listen to my podcast here and follow me on social media here and here and here

Every scene is unique and every submissive is special. I practice a very holistic type of domination and enjoy working with clients who are sincere, healthy and mature. NYE Workshops - Shopping list

This year’s workshops are sexy fundamentals and fetishes.

The annual NYE celebration is a hotel take over event for sexy couples and single females in the DC Metro area. The workshops are held in the afternoon on New Year’s eve.

I’m excited about this year’s workshops. Sexy fundamentals is a safer sex, consent and communication class. The adult retail portion of this class is a lot of fun to teach. Recent developments in the industry have made it simple to locate body safe quality products for the adult lifestyle. Pre shopping is absolutely NOT a prerequisite for class so no worries! You do not need to have these items to attend the class. I simply provide this information in advance to make it easier for you to plan for a fabulous night!

Topics covered include vaginal, oral, anal and how to play with toys. We will learn about choices in products that can create different experiences including various lube formulas, materials used to manufacture toys and condoms options including latex-free alternatives.

The following is a shopping list that includes a number of products we will go over in class.

  1. nitrile gloves

  2. medical grade latex condoms

  3. silicone lube

  4. water based lube

  5. hybrid lube

  6. oral condoms

Most of these products are available online. The best prices I’ve found are at Wal-Mart and the price difference is significant (almost 50% less). Items not included on the list are silicone, and steel toys including vibrators. For these items call or visit located in Baltimore. The store is in Hampden next to bars and restaurants. They also offer classes and I’ve taught there in the past. It’s a great date night idea.

When shopping if you have any questions about the ingredients in a product just pull out your phone and google it! Key search terms include “body safe”, “paraben free”, “glycerin free”, “nonporous”, “medical grade” and “organic”. Happy shopping and I’ll see you at Sinn-ergy on New Years Even!


Unbecoming - the #zerofucks post or on Vampires and radical #selflove

The call was to go down to the river. The plan was to go the the library. But my guides were incredibly insistent so I relented, scraped my plans and pointed the truck towards the mountain.

I’ve long since given up on wearing a bathing suit when I swim alone in the mountains. What’s the point and naked is how the river is meant to be experienced.

Once I crammed myself down in the crevice between a rock and a hard place - the perfect natural bath tub - I said to who ever was directing and supposedly listening now, “Well, I’m here.”

“That thing you think you been doing?” Came the reply.

“Yea.” I said.

“That work you think you been doing?”

“Yea,” I said again, this time with a bit of a proud smirk, thinking back to when I went pro over ten years ago.

“That was all just your training (translation: you ain’t done shit yet), the real work begins now (stay humble).”

Message received.

More like message finally articulated because I gotta say there has been a type of clarity on the rise in my life in the past couple of years. Call it coming out of the fog of some many things but it is clear to me I have built the house, and now it is finally time to begin living in it.

My house is the network of relationships that I maintain thanks to the digital aids that surround me constantly. I am always in touch. Ever alone and always in touch. Being in touch allows me to have the support, lover, reminders, and deadlines that I need to do the real work, the work that starts now. That started months ago, years ago even, but that is finally ready to be unleashed to its full potential. Being alone allows me the time to make good on those nudges.

I’ve learned I’m a severe introvert - what I mean is my alone time is mandatory and my need for it runs deep. You can always count on a warm reception when I’m out in public because I assure you I have planned it that way so that there is plenty of Me time before I have to take that leap again that every empath must take every time they go out in public.

When you’re born poor to uneducated parents it doesn’t take much to feel like you’re “dreaming big”, so suffice it to say my dreams were astronomical by the standards I grew up with. I was preached to about poverty and the woes of money and then that was spoon fed to me with a side of how honorable it is to be poor and futile to wish for more and both are bullshit.


Right now a lot of vows I took knowingly and unknowingly earlier in life are coming to light. I’m experiencing the breaking or renewal of these vows, like the vow of poverty I was spoon fed as a child. Abundance is not a bank account, it’s a state of mind. The two are irrevocably linked though. I know a lot of people who are very financially “successful” and never feel satisfied. I call them clients. Desire is the root of all things. Hunger is the shadow side of desire. One without the other is hollow.

Asia. Check.

Emotional Sobriety. Check.

#MeToo. Check.

Turning 40. Check

Etc Check Check Check


Zero fucks.

Zero fucks is not not caring. It is the opposite. Zero fucks is a radical act of self love.

I am no longer available prey to the emotional vampires that often occupy the front of lyft rides or appear across the counter when I didn’t ask for their help. By some magical grace of the divine I have finally learned how to flip that god damn switch. I can cut a bitch off now and it actually sticks. No more mansplaining. Or hideous flirting. When you’re being abused it’s easy to accept one sided behavior from strangers because you don’t even realize it’s wrong. You’ve been conditioned. But I’ve removed myself from that cycle juuust long enough now and have juuust the right kinds of all the kinds of love in my life right now that I feel strong enough to say no and expect to be heard and respected. Intent. It’s everything. I’m slinging a lot of self affirming, loving and creative intent right now.

I don’t feel fragile exactly. Just new. Full of Wonder. But it’s all so familiar. I’ve changed. They’ve stayed the same but my changing has changed the way I see them. See all of it.

It is not cruel to set up boundaries with strangers and then insist that they be respected but it’s challenging for an empath. It was challenging for me, until now. Each day I feel stronger and more present than I did the day before. Part of me feels like I’m waking up to a dream. And it’s real. In Bali they would call this an activation, the new found awareness and the paradigm shifts that I am experiencing right now. I would call it turning 40 and Venus retrograde through my sun and ascendant and taking a year off to travel and finally kicking my codependent habit and building the family by choice of my dreams for over ten years now and seeing that really, really come into focus in all it’s beauty.

Happy halloween you freaks.

Service Positions for the Sisters of the Closet Women's Circles

Every planet retrograded this year.

It’s the start of winter. Not fall. There was no fall this year, or spring. There was only rain and a brief bittersweet summer.

My Lilacs didn’t bloom until last month. And today it’s a windy, chilly 45 as the winter storms take over and the creeks never went down once this fall and as above, so below.

So since the announcement about the women’s circles I’ve thought alot about what the intent for these ceremonies is and I want to share with you what I’ve found.

Goddesses - self care

CDs - service

That's simple enough, right?

And I'm not apologetic about the fact that the reference to the word "closet" in the name is both kitschy and intentional. I think fashion is a weapon and beauty is the only reason for existing. But don't be fooled, I have a very broad definition of what makes something beautiful and I endeavor to indulge in all the styles as often as I can whether it's covered in crusted river mud ankle deep in sludge dripping wet in the middle of summer or clicking across a marble hotel lobby in a pair of expensive (read comfortable enough I can actually walk in them all night) heels. There's a definite visceral edge to what I consider beautiful. I can't do cute. I've tried. It makes my feel like I want to crawl right out of my own skin because that shit is not who I am that's what submissives are for.

Last week I sent my friend Neptune a video of a female wrestler who mixes voodoo ceremonies with her performances. Similarly I want to fuse the Femdom lifestyle with the tradition of women’s circles. Wrestling, Voodoo, D/s and women’s circles. This stuff has all been around in one form or another since the beginning of time.

I picture femdoms seated in a circle, stroking the heads of the submissive bound and lying in their lap.

Vows of silence for the duration of the evening are prerequisites for service. Crossdressers speak only when spoken too and the Goddess need no rules they make the rules.

Are you starting to catch on? Starting to see my vision?

Positions for service include:

Fire keeper

Gate keeper/Greeter

Tea service

Set up

Clean up


If you need to use the community closet prior to the ritual you will need to contact me directly and set up an appointment in advance.

That’s all for now. The birthday celebrations continue and I want to get back to it. Last night was quite the scene. Corsets, red bottoms, legs for days. That’s why I think I do it. A man’s legs almost always look amazing in a pair of heels. At least I think so. During college I took an art class once. I failed at form but I could sketch in line for days.


Stafford VA excludes a transgirl during shooter drill - and we write letters, show up and send money

Recently a transgirl was barred from shelter during an active shooter DRILL in the Stafford VA school district. Tonight a group of activist are traveling there with letters in support of this girl and her family. I was so moved I donated money for gas and food and wrote the following letter. I thought Id share it here.

October 9, 2018

Dear Students family and staff in the Stafford VA school district,

I am a daughter. A preacher’s daughter. I get you.

I am the co teacher for the human sexuality and gender class at Johns Hopkins. I get this issue.

I am also a professional Dominatrix and this is the first time I have used my full legal name in conjunction with my professional title so I hope you will take my message seriously. In my work I deal regularly with the fallout from untreated gender dysphoria. I get the impact your actions had on this student and the negative consequences that she is suffering.

The good news is...I think your school district has an opportunity to make a powerful impact on your community and country.

Jesus said:

“Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do until Me.”

The only power children have is persistence - persistent questions, cries, whines. If your child told you for years they knew they were actually a transboy or transgirl eventually you’d need to seek outside expertise. Once you did that you would be informed in no short order and with little doubt that without medical intervention your child’s future would involve suicide attempts, drug abuse, and at some point homelessness (the majority of homeless youth are LGBT, roughly 40%). Then you as a parent would have to make the choice to protect your child’s health so they could grow up to be happy. So they could grow up at all. So that they won’t take their own lives or die from an overdose.

And guess what? All of those negative health outcomes are NOT manifestations of transgenderism. They are the result of the abuse, misuse and lack of resources that every trans persons experiences at some point.

This is a CHILD. Never forget this. This child is NOT a monster. But you made her feel like one because of a lack of preparedness due possibly to an unwillingness or inability to address an issue that is rare yet nonetheless so consequential to our communities as you are experiencing right now. This mistake is unfortunately all too common. However, now is your chance to pivot and show the world the true nature and heart of your community.

You owe this child and her family a formal apology - in word and in deed. I for one will hold you more accountable for what you do NOW, than what you did last week. Because that is dead and gone and this girl is still alive and what she needs now is your overwhelming love and support because the lifelong impact of the trauma your lack of foresight, thoroughness and ineptitude caused can have serious negative outcomes for the rest of her life and could impact your community in terrible ways by encouraging hate, ignorance, violence and desertion.

Let me explain how trauma works - it’s like a ball of tin foil, every trauma is another piece layered around that ball and as such ever future trauma is experienced a part of the larger history of trauma that still lives in the memory, cells and heart of survivors.

So this week you will either set a little girl up to succeed in life because you will teach her she can trust those tasked with her care in the public spaces to support and protect her from those or you will sanction the type of ignorance and violence that threatens her life and her future everyday. I beg you to have compassion, and to rise above the tremendous amount of bullshit and put this child first, to put her on the same level as her classmates, and to make sure that the country knows what is truly in the hearts and minds of your communities.

I do not think there was intent to harm, but you did. Say you’re sorry and fix it so we can forgive, forage alliances and get back to the best medicine - education.

God is love.


Full Moon in Pisces + Mars Direct = What is a Cathartic Beat Down?

A couple weeks ago I posted ISO a ‘beat down’ and today I want to explain more what that means and what I intended because in my quiet time I am reminded that the language of kink is strong and not always for public consumption, at least not anyway, without a further explanation.


A beat down is a style of impact play. Impact play is what a lot of people think of when they think of BDSM. The first reason is because impact play is organized around a set of tools - namely whips, paddles, floggers or any pervertible or similar item that may be used to make contact with the receiver’s body. The receiver  is the submissive.


Of course these items are not required for successful impact play. It is about the impact after all and that is achieved a myriad of ways, determined by the terms of the agreement set about during a negotiation between the giver(s) (top/dominant) and the receiver(s) (bottom/submissive).


What I was calling for is often referred to as a “cathartic” beat down. I many have left the cathartic part off just to see who had the balls to come through. It’s a way to screen potential slaves. A beat down is simply heavy impact play. I define heavy, or any scale of intensity for the receiver, based on the receiver’s self reporting. It’s nice if I want to go hard, but that might not be possible. I’ve found in the past connecting with the submissive is more rewarding than any kind of predetermined punishment I may have fantasized about doling out. So that is the reward and one of the primary objectives of kink - to connect mentally, emotionally, physically and/or spiritually - with the other player(s).


I think this is part of what puts BDSM in its own category, prioritizing pleasure, connecting, experience and release over duty or procreation. Each player is an individual and will have a different mix of motivating desires. What’s also highly individualized is the players response to the intensity (pain/pleasure) and exchange (bondage/discpline) and the outcomes of that response (aftercare/drop...more on this later).


If a beat down is something considered heavy (say 8 on a scale of 1 to 10) then a cathartic beat down is an impact play scene that will most likely involve banter, roleplay, flogging, paddling and/or whipping. A beat down will require significant effort by all parties. The giver may punch the receiver in the torso or immobilize the receiver and then be responsible for moving their body when different positions are desired.


Most scenes that involve impact play will result in increased respiration and pulse. There is often sweating, and significant shouting, moaning or yelling. There may be loud music playing which adds another lay of stimuli. There may be other people watching (exhibitionism/voyeurism). On the other hand the receiver might experience heightened sensitivity to sensation if sensory deprivation is applied; a hood or blindfold.

Wed Aug 15 #sexed @sugartheshop Sensual Bondage with Pervertibles

Perveritble: any common often domestic item that can be used for a different purpose other than that originally intended by the manufacturer in a style that is part of a BDSM or kinky play scene

Below are three separate blog posts because ain't no body got time for that...separate posting bullshit.

I just want to go play in the woods.

1. Sugar classes, when sex workers lose clients to death, and the amazing Domme I met

2. The post I promised you yesterday

3. Summary of the successful summer tour (and whatever shit I decide to write about along the way)

First up...SUGAR

Below is the post I promised you yesterday.


But before we get to that...please check out this  bondageworkshop I’m teaching on August 15 in Baltimore at Tickets are $25 and the classis 90 minutes, from 630 to 8. I always hang around til close because it’s fun and the teaching space is super gorgeous. The stores great too :) and they share the same space…


On a more personal/professional note, I’ve read about the grieving process particular to sex workers who loose long term clients. And now I am both proud and saddened to say I find myself for the first time at this place in my peculiar career. Both clients are regulars and souls that I genuinely enjoy, cleints who respect me and men I believe are a blessing to those who know and work with them, and especially those that may love them or call them family. Good people. I’m not sure what this chapter of my journey is going to have in store but I’m prepared to face it without fear or reservation, because as I see it? My job is to make every moment feel like life its self until the last moment the slave can retire to the great Master of us all, that quaking moment between here and forever.  


Last Wednesday after my class at Sugar I attended the wake for the untimely end of the Baltimore Eagle and bumped into an amazing Domme with the verbal gymnastics of the best stand up can offer and she was dressed like a pin up doll, veil and all. And I wondered, why can’t we all be like that? When I discussed my style with her, professionally speaking, her replay was,


“Oh honey, you work so hard, that’s why they have to pay you for it.”


Such a siren with the sweet tongue was she that still I do not know if I am flattered, or being scolded.


I liked her. It’s a lonely sport, topping the top 1%.


One. More, Eclipse. This week. Then you can all breath but my ruler is gonna play hopscotch across my sky for the NEXT two months so I’m just gonna keep riding this ride and asking for patience because GD if I couldn’t slap a bitch on a day like today #PMSRealness B r e e e a t h e


See you on the 15th.

2. Yesterday's blog post is about domestic violence, the kind I have lived with most of my life until now, so I'm finally ready. Let's all take a deep breath.

DV stands for a lot for a lot of things. Not just my initials, Domina (D) Vontana (V), but also...domestic violence. This post is a coming out story. This is my emotional psychological and mental #metoo moment. I’ll never be capable of sharing the stories of my multiple sexual assaults. I’m too much of a scorpio for that shit.

Last week I picked up a new pickup truck and it’s been glorious. I’ve started rapidly checking things off my to do list at the farm that have lingered for months, years even. And then finally today the clouds part, the sky clears and FOR FUCKING ONCE there is sun in the sky on a Saturday. If you live in the Mid Atlantic you appreciate what I know. For those of you who don’t let me say this - I arrived back from Asia the last week of April. I arrived at the farm the first week of May. It has rained. Every. God. Damn. Day. Since minus maaaybe...a total of 2 weeks. Today is one of those days that makes up those two weeks and so I took a nice long drive through the country in my new truck.

And that’s when I realized...I haven't been yelled at by a man in a year and a half. That is a record in my recent history. And by recent I mean the past decade, at least. Because strong women get abused too. Honestly, I’ve often wondered if my abusers didn’t take more pleasure in hurting me BECAUSE I was a dominatrix.

My father was a Pisces and a preacher. My mother was a Sagittarius and a musician. If you know your astrology your cringing right now, and probably laughing. Both my parents were trauma survivors. Especially my father. He was as queer as his daughter here and just as charismatic and beautiful. My mother was the codependent to his addict and as the eldest child and a daughter I was expected to perform the role of caretaker to both. And it sucked.

It sucked every single day. There wasn’t a god damn day that went by that there wasn’t some potentially humiliating and or completely unjust situation to deal with while the world outside the window carried on like inside everything in my life wasn’t completely absurd, completely violent and completely religious, all at the same time. Mind fuck is not even the word. Oh and the cherry on this shit cake is that the context for all of this is rural, white America where everyone knows your name and your business. The only place to hide is literally, the corn fields.

My parents did their best. I know this now. And it was not that great. I accept this now. And that is why for most of my adult life I have loved men who returned my love with vicious emotional and often violent attacks. Some of these men I am still friends with and they may read this and be upset at me and that’s a price I’m willing to pay because the very reason I haven't been screamed at in the past year and a half is because finally, finally...I am putting myself first everywhere in my life, not just in the dungeon. It is a choice who’s time had come and a choice that has made me more available to the people in my life, not less.

If I hadn’t had the figurative and literal space of the dungeon to practice speaking up for myself and EXPECTING to be heard I would most certainly be less fulfilled than I am today. And today I am filled with all the things that make life worth living - love, friendship, passion, creativity, community and family. And I’m almost positive that the only reasons I’m coming up with this blog post now, at this moment, rather than any other I’ve contemplated revealing the truth of my struggle is probably the intense PMS I’ve experienced during the full lunar eclipse on my moon. So bare with me, babes.

And what the actual fuck is my part in all of this? I stayed. I believed the lie that obligated me to fix these men. I honestly thought I could heal someone, all I lacked was resources. Then I found myself in a situation with limitless resources and it didn’t make a damn bit of difference - the addict stayed sick for a very long time. Long enough for me to finally skip country and fulfill my expat fantasies and also to finally quit my codependent habit. Now I am in control of my life in and out of the dungeon and no longer suffer fools in any area of my life. And for that every broken bone, every stint in the ER, every bruise and every scar is worth it because I am free at last.

Psst. Come closer. I have another secret to tell you. The final reveal. Remember when they said it was scary out there in the real world and so maybe we closed our heart chakras to feel safe? Turns out that is a red flag for predators that sends them knocking at our doors. It was only after I took the chance and did the work that I found myself starting to attract the kind of people and experiences I had always longed for that’s why recently when I felt my heart trying to close again I reminded myself that THAT was NOT the path to security.

My brother (biological): “Once a woman realizes she doesn’t need you? It’s over.”

3. Summer Tour Summary

This note is to tell you Mistress had a wonderful summer tour and will be taking the next week off to do even more fun stuff, the old fashion way - without social media.


Three a.m. and the gypsy finally rests, alone, on her bed. It’s been ten days and four states. At least 1,000 miles. so. Blessed.


Several years ago I was up for a full ride to UNC so I moved to Chapel Hill. Thus began a period of restoration. My work is very demanding and there are few opportunities for training or mentorship. I left my vanilla life behind when I went pro out of necessity, not choice. This past week I visited the very people who gave me back my vanilla life.


It wasn’t until this week when I stepped back into the wooded paradise I called home for two years that I felt like I was finally back from Asia. That yard is where the Japanese Ume plum blossom first appeared in January and I didn’t even know what I was smelling, but it was fantastic. Fast forward four months it’s April and I was stepping off a plane in Tokyo with just a backpack. My dream to change my life yet again started in that yard, and it ended there. Last week.


Some people know what they want. I know what I don’t want. The path to perfection for me is a process of elimination, not acquisition. Turns out, I want less of myself and more of others. I want more experiences and less things. I want love. And beauty. And art. And laughter. And dialogue. And play. And I’m an introvert. So quality not quantity.


I’ve spent much of my life alone, in one form or another, often literally alone. I admit that part of this lifestyle is self sustaining for me, if not self serving. But all good things must come to an end. Now that I’m back my gypsy spirit has managed to work out a reasonable circuit: Baltimore, DC, rest at the farm, repeat.


So I’ll see you there (



Summer Tour - July 17-24 Richmond and North Carolina

Travel Updates - Richmond, North Carolina July 17-24 email Hey Kids...Mistress Mommy is headed your way. I’m looking for a few good submissives and sissies to join me for some fun times while I tour through Richmond and North Carolina. Mistress will be visiting Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Durham, Jacksonville and Wilmington. Richmond Virginia is also a possibility.

If this is your first time contacting Mistress, do your research. I play for pay and your tribute is due in full up front and you will pay online like every single one of my submissives for the past five years. It’s one of the perks of being at this point in my career. Short notice does not allow for adequate time to establish chemistry and negotiate. Mistress loves negotiation. I love it when you confess your desires and squirm for me. Mistress adores vulnerability and your submission and service will be cherished...while we explore your edges together and Mistress pushes farther than every before. That's why it's called training honey. And that's why discipline is necessary.

My goal as a professional is to take you down deeper, harder and faster than you've ever know into that dark liquid tranquility of your submissive head space. Mistress has unique blend of sincerity, charm and intensity that is undeniable and absolutely hypnotic. I work only with sincere submissives. I adore novices and welcome first time players. My style is very intuitive and intense. I am very hands on and total obedience is mandatory. Total power exchange is my fetish. Whatever you enjoy, whatever you require to surrender and fall into your submissive headspace? That’s what we will do because all Mistress wants is your mind, body and soul and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you never forget the time you spend in service to true Dominant, a Goddess in the flesh.

I hope to hear from you soon.


Sissy SummerCamp - Packing List

Hi Ladies, Below I've shared some ideas and suggestions in the form of a fantasy letter maybe? lol I mean every word of it - but you don't have to take it that way. A submissive who comes with their own ideas has something to offer. Remember, blank slates are boring. Once you make the deposit and we speak on the phone W/e will go over the following together and Mistress will make sure you have what you will need to enjoy your time to the fullest. We're already starting to book up. The idea has been well received. Mistress knew it would be.

Looking forward to spending the summer in my favorite place with my favorite girls. The following are items I would pack for a weekend with my fellow Goddesses, and likely items they would being also. In story form, I have shared this information as well as a few house rules that are pretty standard for my kinky lifestyle. Other protocol is based on my experience in the dungeon as well as the health conscious lifestyle and I ask these things of you because I think they are important and Mistress believes these choices will improve our time together and your exploration of your femine side. 

Story Time...


Sissy Summercamp Packing List - Be. Do. Explore.

When I was a little girl, I loved the ritual of packing for summer camp. My parents sent me every year to the little compound up the road full of earnest young Christian children, eager college age counselors and righteous adults.

This is not that summer camp. Do you hear me Sally? Regina? Dorothy?

At this summer camp you come as you are, who you really are. It doesn’t matter if she shows up in a black trash bag because that’s the only way you can sneak her out of the house. We will find a way to put her back together again.

So what is in this bag? What goes in every good girls suitcase for summer camp?

Well every girl will need the following:

A towel, sunscreen, toothbrush, toothpaste. Floral scented shampoos conditoiners and lotions are made available for all guests.

Every special girl will need the following:

Wig cap, half a dozen pairs of pantyhose (at least), face razor, body razor, exfoliator, makeup remover, baby wipes, eyelashes, silicone inserts (breasts), bra, panties, slip, satin tank, shoes (one pair each, boots, heels, flats). If any special girl feels another choice fits her personal style more then she is invited to bring those items with her. Use of cell phones is discouraged during your stay.

Basic wardrobe requirements are two sarongs, one for the body and one for the head. Head coverings are elegant, very feminine and strongly encouraged during your stay at summer camp. Wigs are excellent choices for nights out and your photography session. Clip on earrings are reccomended but may be more difficult to locate so shop online or shop early. Thrift stores often have a few pairs of clip on earrings.

If there are any items you wish to donate to our closet at summer camp you are welcome to bring those items with you and if they are useful and fill a need in our collection we will happily keep them for you. You may return at any time to retrieve your items.

Your host, Domina Vontana, is a Goddess. This Goddess serves beauty and discipline. Heavenly beauty and Eartly discipline. Protocol requires that all guest present gifts to the Hostesses upon arrival. This is the first ceremony. Guests also change clothing at this ceremony. Have at least the two sarongs ready to go when you arrive and make sure to wear appropriate undergarments upon arrival, because you will be stripped and made to dress to the specifications of the head Mistress. Chastity is strongly encouraged. Please place the device on your body prior to arrival.

Wine is encouraged. Domina Vontana’s favorite wines are Savignon Blanc and Sangiovese. Hard liquor is not permitted. Smoking cigarettes is discouraged and must be done outdoors at all times. All cigarette butts must be disposed of in the proper container. Perfume, incense and sweet smelling flowers should be in every room during your stay so come prepared to contribute to the atmosphere of summer camp. Oils that contain anti bug properties are strongly encouraged as well as soothing scents. General recommendations include Tea tree, sweet orange, grapefruit, rosemary, jasmine, geranium, vanilla, bergamot, and lavendar.

Guest are encouraged to bring a water bottle and a baseball cap or large brim sun hat  to protect against exsposure. In addition a beach towel is recommended. If a photo shoot is part of your sissy summer camp experience then bring the items with you and make sure they have been pressed and are camera ready on the day of your sitting.  All meals will be vegetarian except for the closing ritual and dinner. Most meals are also gluten free. If you have any allergies you must let the hostess know before booking. All reasonable accommodations will be made however meat is not permitted except for at the closing ritual. All meals are prepared and eaten as a group.

Daily activites are determined in the morning by team consensus between hostesses and guests, collectivey known as the sisters. Participation is not mandatory, but taking emotional and psycholocal risks that you have contemplated for some time are stronly encouraged. Gentle but firm is the approach that guides all our actions, even in the midst of a heavy S/m scene. Most things are not given enough time, but at SSC (Sissy SummerCamp) time is what we have and time is what we take. Practice lounging like a Goddess, or cleaning like a real maid. You know what you need. Domina Vontana and her team of hostesses are here to remind you that you are worthy and provide you with the opportunity to be, do and explore.


Sissy Summercamp Washington DC - Spend the Weekend with a Goddess Exploring your Feminine Side

Congratulations ladies, life just got a whole lot more beautiful.

I have an opportunity over the next few months to host a number of special guests at a home just outside Washington DC. Thanks to the generosity of the land owner we will have the entire property for just us, including 9 acres of beautiful mountain forests. Whatever your style is, it can become a reality in this beautiful setting surrounded by Mother Nature and guided by yours truly, Domina Vontana.

Most of our adventures will happen indoors, though. First step is a total transformation and then you can spend the rest of the time exploring your feminine side and the world around you. Some requests for makeup and clothing can be accommodated but undergarments are recommended. If you need help with wardrobe, Mistress may be able to come up with something for you.

What happens next is up to us. There’s a fabulous gay night club just up the road or we could go for a swim. Have you ever worn a bikini? Mistress has a bikini fetish. What’s sexier than a woman in a wet bikini? Nails, waxing, chastity? My fantasy is to take your transformation as deep and as far as it can go in the time we have together.

At night we will do what women have always done - we will cook, we will eat, we will drink, we will laugh and then we can do what girls do - we can curl up and watch movies in our pajamas. Mani pedis. Bellydance. Anything you can dream we can do.

What, too nice? You’d rather be forced to dress, humiliated and made to serve? Oh, no problem. We can do that too. Mistress always enjoys finding a slave’s limits. Just remember, we’re going to be in the middle of the woods so no one can hear you when you scream.

There will be rituals to purify and seal our time together.

It will be a weekend away that you will never forget. Weekdays are also available. Day trips are possible with advanced notice. All rates are negotiable because every guest is unique and deserves special attention to their needs. Rates start at $500 for overnight accommodations. Full dungeon services are available as well. This is the opportunity for you to attend the summer camp of your little girl dreams, with big girl themes. It won’t happen again. You deserve it. Get in touch. Email




What the Earth gave Me #poetry


I love the way the Air buzzes

And the bees sing their angry staccato song

I’m grateful these bees dont sting

And so far the hornets have not

I’m grateful for only a few bug bites

That I have learned to locate early

And treat successfully

I’m grateful for a blue sky

With white clouds above

The green line of the mountain top


I am grateful for a sun so bright

I have to shutter my eyelids

Just to look in to this

Amazing alive world

To stretch and feel the surface

Of last nights stone pressed

Into the muscle through the skin

For water that is filled with the fertilizing miracle that is bird shit

I am accepting of the imperfection

That borders every ideal placement

I make of this rainbow of colors and

Sounds this kaleidoscope of worldly sensations and symbols I wake up to feel Your soft green skin your victorious pebble beneath my bed trying to break my back with your unrelenting Wildness it is to you only to you That I can break can surrender

In the dark under the full moon stars

Tossed and tangled against the navy

Night sky my breath echos of painful memories bouncing off night bird calls and the palpable stillness that is this planet at night floating through the dark side in the morning I am taken again and the story unfolds over

And over in this after life my small

Life after the pain after the cheers

When all the noise of life has receded

Back down the country road again

I am never able to forget for even a moment in my sensational waking dream that I am alive that I am alive

On this earth that she has everything I

May need and I am never never alone


The Bitch is Back

The prodigal Goddess has returned. After a year in Asia, the place looks the same but I feel very different. And it's off to #Chicago #BDSM May 12-16 to book email


Greetings from Washington DC! Mistress wanted to take a moment to update you now that I am back in the US. I was greeted at the airport by one of my longest serving subs (10+ years) who shuttled me around, shared a cup of coffee and generally kept Mistress in good mood while the jet lag kicked in full force.


I spent the first few days back in Baltimore with my kinky side kick @kiarrith who is a submissive disguised as an invaluable friend. Every time I find myself somehow mysteriously on my way to the destination in a timely manner, hydrated with time for hair and makeup and accurate directions - I always have her to thank. This week it was walking to my lecture at Johns Hopkins that I realized once again she had done it. In the past this magic has helped Mistress succeed at many special events and workshops. It's a real treat for me when I can just focus on my work and it's a gift that a skilled service bottom (or slave or submissive) is especially good at giving. 


Johns Hopkins was the best it’s ever been. I’ve lectured there for a few years now, once a semester, for the human sexuality and gender class. The students at JHU are by far the most serious cohort I’ve ever worked with even more serious than GWU or Georgetown. So when I get them to laugh, it means a lot to me. I posted a live stream of one of the lectures (I lecture for three two hour classes in one day so lots of talking and sharing) and although the video is low quality, the information I share is priceless so I do hope you will check it out.



The following day, my third full day back in the country I was able to reconnect with a friend and regular client. The client and I have a lot in common including a love of sensual bondage, think scarves and beautiful silky things, and no not even for crossdressing, just bondage. Sensual, by the way, is not a description of the application, but the material, which is to say I can make severe ties from beautiful things. This time the surprise I brought along was a small tool to begin exploring sensation play while my client was tied to a chair and immobile. Next time we are going to begin exploring mummification together. I’m excited to consider what types of beautiful feminine materials we can pervert to create the vision.


Then Friday it was back to the boy, and the fur babies, and the feathered babies, and the land - oh my goddess the land. And the sunrise and the sunset and the WIND - the price paid for such priceless views. The first night I ground my sacral chakra so hard against the Earth I think I created a new style of kundalini yoga. In the meantime, I'm available for lectures and lessons with individuals and groups in Washington DC and Baltimore. I prefer as much advance notice as possible. Sincere submissives only. Novices welcome. Email your questions to and follow me on and instagram - domina_vontanadc. Thanks and be good! Miss Vee


What it Looks like When Mistress Gives Advice #sexed #sextips #loveandrelationships



Love and relationship advice. Sex and communication tips. Domination is Psychodrama, a type of #arttherapy there are 4types - visual, movement, music and theatre - aka psychodrama.  Everything you've ever heard about a professional Dominatrix being a therapist as much as she is anything else is probably mostly true (I can't and won't speak for other pros, each of us has our own style and that's a good thing since submissives are as varied as they are numbered like most sexual beings/desires).

Anyway let's get to it...

A former customer asked for some advice and so I gave it. One disclaimer - I actually know this person and their spouse so the advice is light and little less general than what I might give but the truths in this are still the truths (stop telling your wife what you want her to do, stop projecting your fantasies onto her, take responsibility for your own sexual pleasure and BE PATIENT)



One more question ma’amand I’ll let you go. Lately me and wife still have great sex. But I feel like we are begging to hit a slump. She has played with other females over the years. I have no issues. In fact we have an agreement that she can play with women and she should feel free to let me know. I want to be included. By that I would like to set up a massage for that would lead to her being totally relaxed and ‘taken care of’. The masseuse being female preferably male as long as he is hung like a horse. I just don’t know where to look for people who provide those services. Not Craigslist.also how do you suggest approaching the wife about this type of thing.

As you have probably guessed I am a bit bi. The wife knows as well. I haven’t played since I was in college. How should I approach her about me going out to get play as well? Thank you again for you guidance.



Tokyo, Japan

written 1 day ago:

It's your wife's decision what she wants to do or not do and more than your suggestions she needs you to ask her what she wants to do and LISTEN to her response, and give her time to respond if that's what she needs. No pressure is the only way to win.

As for yourself, it might be a nice fit for you as a couple to invite in a third a male who is bi. If you have issues with your wife being with other men you might need to reconsider that if you want everyone to be happy and satisfied. If she doesn't want to see you with another man you may have to go it alone, but I would encourage her to be in on the decision for transparency and safety's sake.

If you want to meet new people a good place to start is happy hours or munches. Real people, real time. I'm not sure what they have in your area, but swingers or kinksters groups would both share your interests.

Also remember, all things come and go in waves. If the 'slump' is just beginning don't focus on it. Be grateful for what you do enjoy and focus on what you want more of with patience, honesty and transparency.

Retail and Event - Client/Customer Review "The Zen Domina"

Once upon a time Mistress worked @Lotus_Blooms and I loved every second of it because the vibe and the products were the best available - luxury, body safe, sex positive, female focused, lush, romantic and beautiful. The following review is from a customer who would frequently shop at the store with his wife. I was also able to enjoy their presence at a few of the events I hosted for @LivingSexyDC. I wanted to share this particular review because it's a comment I receive often and has come to be a sort of emotional trademark and also the reason I am invited back to guest lecture at Universities every semester.

According to my clients, customers, students and yes even my vanilla friends, lol, I have the ability to convey complex and sensitive sexual information in a way that sets the other parties at ease. When this is accomplished the other parties discover they too can discuss their most personal desires with ease and confidence. People just open up, surprising even themselves, with their hidden ability to express their needs and wants. It is at once liberating and fascinating and a phenom that I have come to look forward to with each of my academic (laymen or professional) encounters.

Thank you to my clients who have reached out recently to share words of admiration, love, praise and devotion. You will never know how much your live and support means to Mistress. I am so glad to have the opportunity to share your kind words. I hope they help future seekers find a Dominant who is worthy of their service. All of these reviews were unsolicited delights that arrive in my inbox on a regular and I've decided to begin sharing.

It's short and sweet and I hope you enjoy.

"How are things? Are you still active as a Domina? Me and the wife often talk about you and how relaxed you made the shop you worked and in fun. And how you really were a calming person to have around some of the events we went to."


Another Review - the virgin in the white dress

from a client (do your research before you surrender to a stranger) 



"You are still in my bloodstream - you were the first to bite me and I am forever yours. How fitting that you put me in a white virginal dress that very first time. And how fitting that on another day, early on, you made me your baby. You took me to places I never even dreamed of - and I dreamed a lot. You showed me things I'll never forget."


Review from a client - Do your research before you surrender your self to some stranger

If you are considering booking a session with a professional dominatrix please read below for some words of advice and encouragement from an experienced submissive.

Mistress has just recently started soliciting reviews from regular clients and I have found their words of praise and gratitude to be almost as moving and meaningful as the time we spend together.

I hope that if you are booking a session this spring you will considering surrendering to me, Mistress Domina Vontana. This is especially true if you are a novice.


I have been a loyal client of Domina for over five years.  She is the best.

The world of dominatrixes and "mistresses" is full of women who purport themselves as professionals but who in truth are simply in the scene to make an extra buck.  Don't trust flashy websites.  The reality never lives up to the ads, especially in the mid-Atlantic region.

Domina Vontana is the real deal.  She is sexy, but more importantly, she is experienced and trustworthy.  Her skills as a dominatrix are superb, but her ability to contour the session to your personal desires are unparalleled.  She will leave you wanting more.

Domina has an uncanny sense to understand what you want, and then give you what you need, pushing you beyond your comfort zone.

She is a professional, assuring safety, cleanliness, and discretion.

I can't wait to be encased in her tight bondage again.