Love and relationship advice. Sex and communication tips. Domination is Psychodrama, a type of #arttherapy there are 4types - visual, movement, music and theatre - aka psychodrama. Everything you've ever heard about a professional Dominatrix being a therapist as much as she is anything else is probably mostly true (I can't and won't speak for other pros, each of us has our own style and that's a good thing since submissives are as varied as they are numbered like most sexual beings/desires).
Anyway let's get to it...
A former customer asked for some advice and so I gave it. One disclaimer - I actually know this person and their spouse so the advice is light and little less general than what I might give but the truths in this are still the truths (stop telling your wife what you want her to do, stop projecting your fantasies onto her, take responsibility for your own sexual pleasure and BE PATIENT)
QUESTION from a CLIENT
One more question ma’amand I’ll let you go. Lately me and wife still have great sex. But I feel like we are begging to hit a slump. She has played with other females over the years. I have no issues. In fact we have an agreement that she can play with women and she should feel free to let me know. I want to be included. By that I would like to set up a massage for that would lead to her being totally relaxed and ‘taken care of’. The masseuse being female preferably male as long as he is hung like a horse. I just don’t know where to look for people who provide those services. Not Craigslist.also how do you suggest approaching the wife about this type of thing.
As you have probably guessed I am a bit bi. The wife knows as well. I haven’t played since I was in college. How should I approach her about me going out to get play as well? Thank you again for you guidance.
ANSWER FROM MISTRESS
39F
Tokyo, Japan
written 1 day ago:
It's your wife's decision what she wants to do or not do and more than your suggestions she needs you to ask her what she wants to do and LISTEN to her response, and give her time to respond if that's what she needs. No pressure is the only way to win.
As for yourself, it might be a nice fit for you as a couple to invite in a third a male who is bi. If you have issues with your wife being with other men you might need to reconsider that if you want everyone to be happy and satisfied. If she doesn't want to see you with another man you may have to go it alone, but I would encourage her to be in on the decision for transparency and safety's sake.
If you want to meet new people a good place to start is happy hours or munches. Real people, real time. I'm not sure what they have in your area, but swingers or kinksters groups would both share your interests.
Also remember, all things come and go in waves. If the 'slump' is just beginning don't focus on it. Be grateful for what you do enjoy and focus on what you want more of with patience, honesty and transparency.