meditation report #mentalmasturbation


Meditation progress report. Made it twenty minutes, twice today. That makes four times in three days.

Last Friday night I lit a fire and got some sage advice re #yoga. Every year I save my Christmas boughs, because them bitches go up like a flame thrower. Light a match, stand back, feel the rush of heat as it splashes your cold cheek.

Because we were near a new moon I knew the stars would be out. It made for good watching. My friend, we’ll call him John, is a meditation teacher, and a real hard ass. When I started whining to him fireside over glasses of wine how everyone I knew meditated except me and I didn’t know why he laughed. The kind of knowing laugh that comes before a ball busting.

"If you knew what meditation was,” he said, “you’d be doing it all the time.”

I wish I would have recorded what he said next but basically he alikened it to mastrubation for the mind and said it was a great yet simple thing, simple it what it accomplishes, effective over time, not an antidote, but a lifestyle. Something that has immediate and long range return, if you’re interested in consistent dividends/practice and realistic yet intentional results.

He called it his safe place, and this man is 6’4” and a former marine. What he meant by safe was “untouchable.” He’s out of reach when he’s down there he said. That sounds terrible to me, like drowning. But knowing him, he’s probably right.

I’ve tried sitting alone, sitting in silence and listening to relaxing music. My genre is anything with “spa” in the search terms.

I have no idea which I prefer. I remember to breath. Most of the time. If I make it the full 20mins I morph into my own personal hero.

All I had this morning to focus on was, “let the love win,” and “stay in your heart place.”

By this evening we had graduated to “Let the love win,” and “Gratitude.”

Just that. Back and forth between those two, me sighing and trying to focus while the dog whimpered because I was ignoring her and I tried to ignore myself ignoring myself. I’m an introvert by nature anyway so I’m not sure maybe that is part of my struggle. I spend so much time alone already. By design.

I did note this- after a few times the meditation created a space inside I was able to return to easier the next time around. It seemed productive. I don’t mind props. Props need a stage I suppose. I am building my stage. It’s like second life for the soul. So far my stage is a little dusty and kinda bare. There’s lots of work to do.   

Lots of opportunity to change what I see.



One Charlie ... 


two Charlie ...